I've been giving this some thought the past few days. In my bedroom, I look at the curtain that has all of my race bibs on it. Eighteen of them. Then I look at the generic Hobby Lobby hanger I bought ("temporarily") for my race bling. And I remember, vaguely, how they all used to make me feel.
And I wonder what happened to that girl.
I read back on some posts, New Years posts, promises I've made to myself and posted on this blog for motivation. It's not working. I can offer up a ton of excuses, fatigue, shitty weather, boredom. But, I can't pretend she's here right now.
I'm following through with the races I've signed up for. The four half marathons, the virtual and otherwise 5ks. But I'm not signing up for any more at this point.
I'm done fighting with myself, and trying to convince myself I can and really want to do this. And I'm taking a break from this. This blog, all of it.
And hope that girl misses it all and comes back to me.