Thursday, August 29, 2013

Kill It With Fire (and then, drown it's ashes)

Allow me to begin with a few images:
This is cute.

This is cute.

This is cute.

 This is cute.

 This is not cute.

Do you understand what I'm saying here?! 

Mosquitoes are evil. They are evil and disgusting, and just evil. Evil. 

I recently had to see a dermatologist because I was bitten by mosquitoes, a lot of them (or maybe just the same one a million times. Hungry little fucker) because apparently I have a mosquito allergy. I realize that people are typically allergic to mosquitoes, but this is insane. Most of the bites (mostly on my legs) have settled to scars, but a few are still unhealed. And you ask why I don't usually wear shorts? Ok, you didn't ask, but now you know anyway. 

I went outside last night, as I like to do once in awhile, and within the ten minutes I was out there I acquired 11 new bites. I counted. Eleven. It was a feeding frenzy. Within mere seconds they began to itch and within about two minutes they swelled up and looked like blisters (they aren't blisters, but they look that way). Five minutes later, the nausea hit. I don't know if this is normal or not, but I'm guessing no. I don't know if it was the insane itching from the multiple bites at once or if it was the mosquito's toxic (and evil) venom coursing through my veins, but I got wickedly sick to my stomach. I slathered on anti-itch cream and hovered in the bathroom the ten or so minutes it took to calm the ridiculous and plentiful itching. 

I should mention here, because I know you want to know, that while running one night I got bit by a mosquito (WITH bug repellant on) through my tank top, through my sport bra, and into a rather sensitive area.. if you know what I mean. The little fuckers are getting personal now. 

So why this post? Because I just went outside again - I like to live dangerously - and I now have seven new bites. SEVEN! For a grand total of eighteen bites in under 10 hours. Not counting the ones that are still awaiting healing. 

P.S. Don't use DEET - even if the alternative is becoming a buffet.  "With heavy exposure (such as with those of us who won't go outside without their favorite sunscreen or bug spray), humans may experience memory loss, headache, weakness, fatigue, muscle and joint pain, tremors and shortness of breath. The bad part about it is that these symptoms may not be evident until months or even years after exposure. Some studies show that frequent and long-term use of DEET, especially in combination with other chemicals or medications, could cause brain deficits in vulnerable populations, particularly children."

If any of you have natural mosquito repellant concoctions, I'd LOVE to hear them. Also, if you have suggestions as to how to calm the itch so I don't rip my skin off, that'd be GREAT too!

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